When we decided that we were ready to have a kid (spring 2005), the dear wife was very gung ho on all of the prenatal things...the vitamins, the ovulation charting, the whole works. It seemed pretty easy, because within a couple of months of 'hitting that' ovulation window, she was pregnant. Hey, that was easy.
Not so much.
About six weeks into that pregnancy, she had a miscarriage. As the guy, you're bummed, sure, since you're looking forward to having a little one that you can warp and weft. But, I was totally unprepared for the depths of depression that my wife went through. We've always been able to work out problems, but this was one that we couldn't help each other out with.
A fair bit of our response bleeds into the next post (Infertility sucks - Why can't we get her knocked up again?), but we found ourselves in a monthly swing...timing when we can have sex for the month, hoping that I don't have a work trip planned for that week, sometimes getting our timing together, then waiting 2 weeks, only to have her go through a swing of negativity and crabbiness when the negative pregnancy test comes through. It got so I would welcome the chance to get the hell out of dodge and let her stew by herself. But, I know doing that doesn't help the problem.
Fortunately | unfortunately, we had some friends go through the same thing early this year. They're in a similar mental state now...him doing the "guy thing" and trying to put it past him, mostly by keeping busy, and she's still hoping to "just cuddle"...she wants some down time to spend with the two of them. These things express differently for everyone....but come to think of it, not so differently.
Not so much.
About six weeks into that pregnancy, she had a miscarriage. As the guy, you're bummed, sure, since you're looking forward to having a little one that you can warp and weft. But, I was totally unprepared for the depths of depression that my wife went through. We've always been able to work out problems, but this was one that we couldn't help each other out with.
A fair bit of our response bleeds into the next post (Infertility sucks - Why can't we get her knocked up again?), but we found ourselves in a monthly swing...timing when we can have sex for the month, hoping that I don't have a work trip planned for that week, sometimes getting our timing together, then waiting 2 weeks, only to have her go through a swing of negativity and crabbiness when the negative pregnancy test comes through. It got so I would welcome the chance to get the hell out of dodge and let her stew by herself. But, I know doing that doesn't help the problem.
Fortunately | unfortunately, we had some friends go through the same thing early this year. They're in a similar mental state now...him doing the "guy thing" and trying to put it past him, mostly by keeping busy, and she's still hoping to "just cuddle"...she wants some down time to spend with the two of them. These things express differently for everyone....but come to think of it, not so differently.
0 Responses to “Infertility Sucks I - The Miscarriage”
Post a Comment